[ the three slutketeers ]

[alttitude]

makes a catch-all will we use this more than once god i hope so

Comments

week 2, monday

[alttitude]

[however the drinking bet ends and whoever wins, jae-ha's just going to be humming a happily little tune to himself

his tolerance is great but also jae-ha's an idiot]

Ah, should I take responsibility for what I've done?

[he's probably referring to sanji

whose tolerance is not so great.

and assuming zelos joined them at some point - ]

Where would you like him delivered to?

[concasse]

Fu' you! M'not goin' anywhere!

[Mmm so.

Sanji's doing great over here.

And in his irritation leans over so far he about collides into Jae-Ha, jabbing a thumb (wait, no, he needs his index finger for this) at the other's chest.]

[holybind]

[ Zelos is not the heavy-weight that Jae-ha is nor is he a Sanji level lightweight, so when he joins them in observing their bet that is just waiting to go wrong he minds his alcohol (unlike literally everyone else).

Zelos is just pleasantly tipsy and sober enough to find the whole thing hilarious. ]

We should probably get him into bed, but—

[ Zelos peers over Jae-ha's shoulder at Sanji. ]

Hey there buddy, where do you wanna go if not back to our room? We'll take you anywhere your heart so desires.. assuming its within the confines of this castle.

[ who says the fun has to stop here? ]

[alttitude]

[Honestly Jae-ha thinks this is hysterical.

And both because a ) he's pretty sure he can get away with it and b ) he actually does need to steady Sanji before he flops somewhere, he's going to wrap an arm around his waist to secure him.

As he laughs.]

That's true, we can even take a stroll out into the gardens. Or I can take you to the sky if you're stomach's settled.

[concasse]

[Joke's on Jae-Ha -- the moment that arm is around Sanji's waist, he starts trying to pull it off... though it's more like a toddler who realized the gate is locked as opposed to a man in the midst of a gay panic]

'm goin' whatever opposite direction you two r'going.

[A pause... his frown turns into a squint]

What sky?

[WHAT SKY?

Certainly not this sky.

He looks up and sees nothing but ceiling, someone lied to him.]

[holybind]

Okay, I'm going to explain a little concept called object permanence to you my friend.

[ Zelos slides over to Sanji's other side, leaning against him just a little bit. ]

Here's the secret—

[ He leans in and whispers right in Sanji's ear ]

— the sky is still there, even if there's something blocking it from your line of sight.

[alttitude]

[jae-ha's not letting go bc he has a feeling that if he does then sanji will suddenly experience object permanence with the floor

as in he will permanently be an object on the floor]

We can go past what's blocking it if you want.

[honestly some fresh air might be good for them both]

[concasse]

[Um Zelos his

ears

are sensitive

so WHAT THE FUCK, Sanji jerks away and just slams into Jae-Ha on his quest for escape, a hand slapped over his ear.]

Would you stop doing that?!

[Rubbing his eeeeear]

I know the sky is still there, I thought we were outside already!

[Jae-Ha please save him]

[holybind]

Oh, I'd hate to ruin the suspense of this eventual discovery for you, but I'm going to speed this up— we were outside, now we're inside and we're deciding where to lug you next. But if the sky is what you so desire—

[ No getting away from your gay thoughts buddy. Zelos moves on in and loops an arm through Sanji's so he can tug him forward.

Then, to Jae-ha— ]

Hey, have you ever tried to take someone with you when your well wish gone awry sends you into orbit?

[alttitude]

[oof, that's a sanji.

jae-ha takes the brunt of his weight and normally topples over but luckily doesn't]

Of course I have, what fun is it without company?

[irresponsible little shit]

[concasse]

[Through all this tug-o-war between the two men, Sanji seems to have... mentally caught up to all this actually entails, and glances over his shoulder at the dragon.]

Oi, wait, why do I need Jae-ha for this?

[Assume his words are slurred bc the player is lazy. Also, tugging at Zelos' arm -- not to escape, HE HAS A QUESTION.]

Why do I need Jae-ha for this?

[Guy Zelos, explain.]

[holybind]

Uh, because you can't launch yourself into the air the way he can?

[ Anyway Zelos is already leading them back outside, thanks. ]

C'mon, no shame in accepting a little help if you're going to get a chance to see space, right? I think that's worth having your ego knocked down a peg.

[alttitude]

[ . . .

Quietly:]

How high up do you think I go?

[Even quieter:]

... well, space is probably beautiful.

[concasse]

Tch! 'Course I can fly.

[...]

Well maybe not anymore, but...

[Staring accusingly at his feet. This is literally the worst. HEAD SWIVELING TO JAE-HA, though Sanji continues to follow the leader here.]

Jae-Ha, how high we going? Bet I can beat your record.

[SANJI YOU CAN'T FLY RIGHT NOW]

[holybind]

You heard the man, Jae-ha.

[ Zelos grins up at the night sky, not out of any romantic appreciation for how pretty it is. But rather, because he's excited to see how horribly this ends for Sanji. ]

You gonna' back down from a challenge like that, oh mighty Green Dragon?

[alttitude]

For you two? I'll go as high as I can. ♥

[this is going to be a bad idea but also - ]

You don't want to come, gorgeous?

[HE'S NORMALLY JUST USED TO CARRYING ONE AT A TIME

BUT ALSO

HE'S DRUNK]

[concasse]

[So you know how Zelos had his arm cheerfully locked with Sanji's?

Well.

Sanji's suddenly snaps around his wrist with the grip of iron.

Smiling at him.]

Oh.

Of course he's coming.

[holybind]

[ Oh,

fuck.


Zelos tries to saw his arm out of Sanji's grip with? His other arm. ]

Yeah, no— I'm good. I'm fine to just watch and marvel at you two jerks from down here.

[ Trying to flat out yank himself out of Sanji's grip now bye ]

I'm breaking tag order just for this

[concasse]

[With all that struggling, it sure would be a shame if Sanji just

dropped

right

on top of him.

Did he do it himself? Did Zelos accidentally yank Sanji forward? No one knows, it's a mystery, but there are sure two bodies on the floor with one auspiciously placed on top of the other.

What a shame, Zelos can't escape now.]

Wow you're almost as tall as me.

[HE SAYS WHILE DRAPED OVER HIS ROOMMATE]

[holybind]

WHAT THE HELL—!!

[ ZELOS IS LITERALLY JUST SQUIRMING AND TRYING TO CRAWL OUT FROM UNDER SANJI ]

You're taller by a centimeter at most, bastard!

[alttitude]

[ . . . . and Jae-ha laughs, because of course he does? He spends like a solid few seconds just laughing and then commenting happily:]

You're getting along better! How sweet.

[GOOD PARTNERS!!!!

But he's going to stand by this weird slut pile and seem to figure out what he needs to do....]

Chef, hold onto him tight okay?

[jae-ha: ya this is gay but IT CAN GET GAYER]

[concasse]

Tch, you're lucky we both want to the same thing right now...

[Dear seas, but this guy is like a worm. It takes a moment for Sanji to work an arm around him?

... Listen, Jae-Ha said hold on tight; he's fulfilling a request]

[holybind]

[ Zelos is literally shoving away Sanji's face, fuck off! ]

I swear, if you bastards don't let me go this isn't going to end well for either of you.

[ He looks at Jae-ha, all while fighting Sanji's grip ]

This isn't funny!

[alttitude]

[it's actually pretty fucking funny

hence why jae-ha's cracking up and - he's not even going to give them a warning considering his much zelos is struggling. sanji is holding onto zelos and now jae-ha's just going to pick up both of them and then kick off the ground, sending them all very

very high into the air

he's still laughing as he goes]

[concasse]

[Okay so this was fine so long as Zelos was the only one suffering.

Then Jae-Ha is just casually picking them both up and shooting into the sky like a fuckin rocket and giggling like a madman]

I-I WASN'T READY!!

[Clinging onto Zelos for a new reason?! They are actually going to die!]