He could have been so much more and Jae-ha is stuck on that opportunity, mad at the people who took it away from Sandalphon in the first place, who convinced him that it had to be this way. Even though he understands it's only an explanation, and there's not enough to excuse his actions. He pulls himself away from the window quietly and retreats to the bed, sitting before he just collapses on it, pressing the heels of his hands against his closed eyelids.]
... I'm glad that some people are at least telling him that he got to do something right, even if I disagree.
[Sandalphon deserves kindness - that much is what Jae-ha thinks is true.]
Jae-ha sighs after another moment, because he can't think of another response to that. What's done is done. It's out of his hands now, and there's no reasonable, safe way to stop the execution without putting Sousei in unnecessary danger. And more than that....
If he did, it would cheapen Sandalphon's choice.
So instead he just tries to compose himself again, opening his eyes and blinking as he peers up to find Sousei.
And automatically reaches a hand out to him.]
... are you still really that allergic to being near me?
[Sousei legitimately sucks and just like...did not even consider it.
Which is why he's left blinking owlishly at Jae-ha and that extended hand, before he coughs into a hand and... looks away.
But. Only briefly. And then he clears his throat and:]
... No, that is not it. I was simply--
[He doesn't understand physical affection don't look at him that way. Rather than try to finish that thought, he aborts it in favor of...walking over to the bed and sitting next to Jae-ha. He doesn't take that hand either, though. Too much of a gesture, he sucks.]
Jae-ha laughs at that. It mingles with the tiredness, the exhaustion of his own emotion, but it is a laugh. He sits up when Sousei joins him, and he moves to lean in... closer to him. Their faces don't need to be this close, but they are.
[He doesn't mind the hand pressing to his face, though he will catch Sousei's wrist again just to keep him from shoving him further away. His lips might brush against his palm a bit more purposefully and.
His expression turns contemplative as he tilts his head and faces Sousei again.]
[Eeurgh. It's an odd feeling, Jae-ha brushing his lips against his palm, and Sousei wavers in indecision between shoving him away further or tugging his hand away and ends up just leaving it, meeting Jae-ha's face with an outraged look because:]
Who would want to bite you?
[Wh...why is that your issue here, Sousei.
Hold on, the rest is catching up, and...
Ultimately, he does tug his hand away, so he can cross his arms and arch an eyebrow at Jae-ha and:]
Now you are asking for permission? It is rather belated. [that's... not a "no". Does he want it to be a "no"? He's really not sure, actually (which he supposes should be answer enough; he's always, always known when something was "no" before.)]
Jae-ha pauses at that, considering. The initial thought had been something to pass the time - to get his mind off of everything that he can't control, so he could instead refocus on what was directly right in front of him, what was in reach. Though at the scolding, he raises a brow and finds his interest caught. Whole-heartedly snagged.]
... would you prefer that I take what I want?
[Even if it's only fun if it's something Sousei wants to - but Jae-ha is rather sure that Sousei make it incredibly clear if there was something he was against.
And so, lacking that, he'll reach out with a hand to catch Sousei's chin as he tilts his head to claim a proper kiss. His previous peck had been on the corner of Sousei's mouth, something that he snuck in on a whim. Now he kisses with the intent of almost irritating Sousei further, looking to find exactly what it is that could get underneath his skin and rile him up.
Maybe it's for that reason that Jae-ha will be the one to bite now instead, a nip at Sousei's lips.
Since someone said he doesn't have to ask for permission.]
[... Well then. He really should've expected that Jae-ha would take that inch he gave him and go a mile with it. He's not even surprised, not exactly, when Jae-ha leans in properly. He doesn't pull away, taking the moment to see exactly where Jae-ha's going with this--
And pretty much immediately figuring out when Jae-ha is just trying to irritate him.
His brows draw together as well as Jae-ha proceeds to be the worst, but Sousei's a rebel without a cause in all things he does, and that includes this. He has no intentions of retreating--and so instead, he slides his fingers to the back of Jae-ha's head, holding him in place as he almost scoldingly deepens that kiss, in part so Jae-ha can't bite anymore, but also because he's just too contrary to leave it alone, either.
[He's stunned when Sousei reciprocates - fiercely, at that.
But you know, Jae-ha's not the type to question what falls into his lap. He goes with the kiss, licking into Sousei's mouth with renewed interest after a moment. There's some vague awareness that there's probably some part of Sousei that's doing this out of pride, out of perfectionism, but somehow that manages to be more endearing that irritating. It's not even a second later that he snakes his arm around Sousei's waist and
leans
with the intent of them falling back against the bed
maybe just because he wants to know what Sousei's going to do next.]
[Jae-ha has such high hopes but Sousei is still Sousei. He doesn't shrug off Jae-ha's arm, and he's not breaking the kiss either, but he does put a hand out immediately to catch himself so he can't be nudged, and he plants his other hand on Jae-ha's shoulder to try to shove him back to the bed instead.
Like.
No, he's not going to be the one chilling on the bottom here, he's definitely the one shoving Jae-ha over if at all possible.]
[thank god that's exactly what jae-ha was hoping for.
unfortunately.
because he's going to pretty much go with the shove, not minding the shiver that goes down his spine with the force of it, and falling back against the bed. though with his arm around sousei's waist, he's definitely intending on bringing sousei down with him.
though he'll eventually need to breath. and when he does, he's letting his free hand run into sousei's hair to keep him close, but even as he does pulls away he
[Sousei manages that much, one hand pressed to Jae-ha's chest to keep himself upright so that he is not pressed quite so close despite Jae-ha's efforts, his other still pressed to his shoulder.
Still, he could tug away further and he doesn't, instead meeting Jae-ha's eyes firmly from where he's resting on top of him, hair disheveled from Jae-ha's actions.]
This is simply a thing that happened. [IT'S JUST... JUST A THING.] Do not read too far into it.
[It's just spontaneous making out on a bed after a long, difficult day.
But Jae-ha can't deny that he rather likes the view from underneath Sousei. A grin pulls at his lips even as he leans up, trying to close some of that distance between them again as he presses their foreheads together.]
... that said, your technique leaves a little something to be desired, Mr. Perfectionist. Want to try again?
[is he trying to bait sousei into making out with him]
[Though Sousei does scowl at that. He can't...help it... he's not happy about this at all, and while he doesn't tug away from their foreheads touching, he's definitely making a face.]
Now you are complaining? You are truly useless.
[But you know, in a lot of ways, Sousei's easy.
Because that works, and he's just leaning in to seal their lips together again, to prove that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his technique.]
[sousei this is your first kiss it's okay if something's wrong with your technique
also this was way too easy and jae-ha will say so later when his mouth isn't occupied
Regardless he meets Sousei halfway with that kiss, because he can't find a reason why he not.
... but more than that, there's still an agitation in his veins. For someone who's normally calm, collected, he's not used to not being able to expend this energy. Yet his attempts to jump away from the castle were met instead with more magic, to the point that he only grew more frustrated. So instead he expends his intent now, working his mouth against Sousei's as his fingers tighten in his hair.
[Was there really any other outcome sans them making out like they're arguing, really... There isn't even much to the way of feelings here, not in the sense of the loyalty and affection that admittedly was there before, when they were making pledges.
This is different, and Sousei doesn't even care.
He feels it too, after all. In a different way from Jae-ha, certainly, but he still feels like a caged wolf here and now. That he used to be someone who could make things happen, no matter what it took, and now...?
Now, he is stuck here, unable to do anything, unable to find a way to break these shackles, and this doesn't resolve anything, but it sure does feel like a release of sorts to kiss Jae-ha like he's trying to win some sort of fight, one hand planted next to his head as Jae-ha meets him halfway, the other still on his chest as if he's going to push him away at any moment (but he doesn't, and he isn't).]
[It's a little reckless, and a lot of pointless - but isn't that most of what's going on in this game? People making stupid decisions, and everything feels futile. But at least here and now, Jae-ha is making this choice with what to do with his time that can be wasted. He's irritated, he has energy, and at least kissing Sousei answers some hunger in him that he can't even get trying to jump away from this place.
But it's still Jae-ha and Sousei gave him an inch and yet here he is, intending on taking the full mile as his hand slips from Sousei's hair down to the top button of his shirt and when Jae-ha pulls back he asks - ]
Aren't you feeling stuffy yet?
[Though he goes in for another kiss.
So mostly he's just going to ask between kisses. He won't undo the button until he's given permission but.
While he's been enjoying the making out more than he expected to (for the fierceness of it, for the energy burn, even for the taste of Jae-ha, which is something he will not be admitting to any time soon), even so, his hand snaps up immediately to grasp Jae-ha's wrist when he reaches for those buttons.
He asks permission, which is a point in his favor.
But Sousei just breathes out a firm, if breathless:]
No. Not right now.
[This is not a thing they are doing Saturday night before an execution and after a miserable trial, no matter how appealing the thought of burning more energy is--
Sousei's guard isn't down enough yet, apparently.]
[Sousei's hand snaps to grab Jae-ha's wrist to keep him from undoing the button and it's instantaneous how Jae-ha's hand goes lax, lets himself be pulled away. Well, it's simple to say that he tried. He was bound to hit a boundary at some point -
And it's already hot to him to be bossed around so sternly, so the next kiss that he claims from Sousei burns all the more. There's no point in hiding his own want, how he'd like to turn off thinking about responsibilities for just a little bit and give in to something purely physical.
But he'll work with what he's given, and for now these biting, harsh kisses are what he wants.]
[Yeah, Sousei definitely is just going to ignore those words. Because he can't 100% say no. He knows how Jae-ha is, he's not so oblivious that he doesn't know how these things tend to go, and mostly...
Mostly he is not unhappy with that. Just not yet. Not right now.
Instead? He silences Jae-ha with another kiss, matching him fierceness for fierceness, all teeth and fighting and refusal to back down.
He's finding this is a very good way to shut him up after all.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He could have been so much more and Jae-ha is stuck on that opportunity, mad at the people who took it away from Sandalphon in the first place, who convinced him that it had to be this way. Even though he understands it's only an explanation, and there's not enough to excuse his actions. He pulls himself away from the window quietly and retreats to the bed, sitting before he just collapses on it, pressing the heels of his hands against his closed eyelids.]
... I'm glad that some people are at least telling him that he got to do something right, even if I disagree.
[Sandalphon deserves kindness - that much is what Jae-ha thinks is true.]
It really... is quite exhausting.
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That will always be the most tragic part of all. The lost potential. And the knowledge...that Sandalphon could have been so much more.
Sousei nods quietly, stepping over to lean against the wall next to the bed.]
What's done is done. It is exhausting... but he has made his choice, and if nothing else, many of the people here are kind.
[So at least...Sandalphon got that sort of send off.]
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Jae-ha sighs after another moment, because he can't think of another response to that. What's done is done. It's out of his hands now, and there's no reasonable, safe way to stop the execution without putting Sousei in unnecessary danger. And more than that....
If he did, it would cheapen Sandalphon's choice.
So instead he just tries to compose himself again, opening his eyes and blinking as he peers up to find Sousei.
And automatically reaches a hand out to him.]
... are you still really that allergic to being near me?
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[Sousei legitimately sucks and just like...did not even consider it.
Which is why he's left blinking owlishly at Jae-ha and that extended hand, before he coughs into a hand and... looks away.
But. Only briefly. And then he clears his throat and:]
... No, that is not it. I was simply--
[He doesn't understand physical affection don't look at him that way. Rather than try to finish that thought, he aborts it in favor of...walking over to the bed and sitting next to Jae-ha. He doesn't take that hand either, though. Too much of a gesture, he sucks.]
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Jae-ha laughs at that. It mingles with the tiredness, the exhaustion of his own emotion, but it is a laugh. He sits up when Sousei joins him, and he moves to lean in... closer to him. Their faces don't need to be this close, but they are.
And Jae-ha hums, a curious note.]
Simply...?
I'm listening.
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I am not completing that thought. I am sitting here now, are you happy?
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I am.
[He doesn't mind the hand pressing to his face, though he will catch Sousei's wrist again just to keep him from shoving him further away. His lips might brush against his palm a bit more purposefully and.
His expression turns contemplative as he tilts his head and faces Sousei again.]
.... I figure it can't hurt to ask.
Would you bite if I kissed you again?
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Who would want to bite you?
[Wh...why is that your issue here, Sousei.
Hold on, the rest is catching up, and...
Ultimately, he does tug his hand away, so he can cross his arms and arch an eyebrow at Jae-ha and:]
Now you are asking for permission? It is rather belated. [that's... not a "no". Does he want it to be a "no"? He's really not sure, actually (which he supposes should be answer enough; he's always, always known when something was "no" before.)]
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Jae-ha pauses at that, considering. The initial thought had been something to pass the time - to get his mind off of everything that he can't control, so he could instead refocus on what was directly right in front of him, what was in reach. Though at the scolding, he raises a brow and finds his interest caught. Whole-heartedly snagged.]
... would you prefer that I take what I want?
[Even if it's only fun if it's something Sousei wants to - but Jae-ha is rather sure that Sousei make it incredibly clear if there was something he was against.
And so, lacking that, he'll reach out with a hand to catch Sousei's chin as he tilts his head to claim a proper kiss. His previous peck had been on the corner of Sousei's mouth, something that he snuck in on a whim. Now he kisses with the intent of almost irritating Sousei further, looking to find exactly what it is that could get underneath his skin and rile him up.
Maybe it's for that reason that Jae-ha will be the one to bite now instead, a nip at Sousei's lips.
Since someone said he doesn't have to ask for permission.]
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And pretty much immediately figuring out when Jae-ha is just trying to irritate him.
His brows draw together as well as Jae-ha proceeds to be the worst, but Sousei's a rebel without a cause in all things he does, and that includes this. He has no intentions of retreating--and so instead, he slides his fingers to the back of Jae-ha's head, holding him in place as he almost scoldingly deepens that kiss, in part so Jae-ha can't bite anymore, but also because he's just too contrary to leave it alone, either.
So like.
This is the worst thing immediately.]
[1/3]
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[what the fuck?]
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But you know, Jae-ha's not the type to question what falls into his lap. He goes with the kiss, licking into Sousei's mouth with renewed interest after a moment. There's some vague awareness that there's probably some part of Sousei that's doing this out of pride, out of perfectionism, but somehow that manages to be more endearing that irritating. It's not even a second later that he snakes his arm around Sousei's waist and
leans
with the intent of them falling back against the bed
maybe just because he wants to know what Sousei's going to do next.]
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Like.
No, he's not going to be the one chilling on the bottom here, he's definitely the one shoving Jae-ha over if at all possible.]
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unfortunately.
because he's going to pretty much go with the shove, not minding the shiver that goes down his spine with the force of it, and falling back against the bed. though with his arm around sousei's waist, he's definitely intending on bringing sousei down with him.
though he'll eventually need to breath. and when he does, he's letting his free hand run into sousei's hair to keep him close, but even as he does pulls away he
laughs breathlessly]
So were you waiting for me to ask or.
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[Sousei manages that much, one hand pressed to Jae-ha's chest to keep himself upright so that he is not pressed quite so close despite Jae-ha's efforts, his other still pressed to his shoulder.
Still, he could tug away further and he doesn't, instead meeting Jae-ha's eyes firmly from where he's resting on top of him, hair disheveled from Jae-ha's actions.]
This is simply a thing that happened. [IT'S JUST... JUST A THING.] Do not read too far into it.
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[It's just spontaneous making out on a bed after a long, difficult day.
But Jae-ha can't deny that he rather likes the view from underneath Sousei. A grin pulls at his lips even as he leans up, trying to close some of that distance between them again as he presses their foreheads together.]
... that said, your technique leaves a little something to be desired, Mr. Perfectionist. Want to try again?
[is he trying to bait sousei into making out with him]
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[Though Sousei does scowl at that. He can't...help it... he's not happy about this at all, and while he doesn't tug away from their foreheads touching, he's definitely making a face.]
Now you are complaining? You are truly useless.
[But you know, in a lot of ways, Sousei's easy.
Because that works, and he's just leaning in to seal their lips together again, to prove that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his technique.]
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also this was way too easy and jae-ha will say so later when his mouth isn't occupied
Regardless he meets Sousei halfway with that kiss, because he can't find a reason why he not.
... but more than that, there's still an agitation in his veins. For someone who's normally calm, collected, he's not used to not being able to expend this energy. Yet his attempts to jump away from the castle were met instead with more magic, to the point that he only grew more frustrated. So instead he expends his intent now, working his mouth against Sousei's as his fingers tighten in his hair.
They can make out like they're arguing.
It's fine.]
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This is different, and Sousei doesn't even care.
He feels it too, after all. In a different way from Jae-ha, certainly, but he still feels like a caged wolf here and now. That he used to be someone who could make things happen, no matter what it took, and now...?
Now, he is stuck here, unable to do anything, unable to find a way to break these shackles, and this doesn't resolve anything, but it sure does feel like a release of sorts to kiss Jae-ha like he's trying to win some sort of fight, one hand planted next to his head as Jae-ha meets him halfway, the other still on his chest as if he's going to push him away at any moment (but he doesn't, and he isn't).]
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But it's still Jae-ha and Sousei gave him an inch and yet here he is, intending on taking the full mile as his hand slips from Sousei's hair down to the top button of his shirt and when Jae-ha pulls back he asks - ]
Aren't you feeling stuffy yet?
[Though he goes in for another kiss.
So mostly he's just going to ask between kisses. He won't undo the button until he's given permission but.
Well.]
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While he's been enjoying the making out more than he expected to (for the fierceness of it, for the energy burn, even for the taste of Jae-ha, which is something he will not be admitting to any time soon), even so, his hand snaps up immediately to grasp Jae-ha's wrist when he reaches for those buttons.
He asks permission, which is a point in his favor.
But Sousei just breathes out a firm, if breathless:]
No. Not right now.
[This is not a thing they are doing Saturday night before an execution and after a miserable trial, no matter how appealing the thought of burning more energy is--
Sousei's guard isn't down enough yet, apparently.]
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And it's already hot to him to be bossed around so sternly, so the next kiss that he claims from Sousei burns all the more. There's no point in hiding his own want, how he'd like to turn off thinking about responsibilities for just a little bit and give in to something purely physical.
But he'll work with what he's given, and for now these biting, harsh kisses are what he wants.]
Mm.
Another time then. ♥
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Mostly he is not unhappy with that. Just not yet. Not right now.
Instead? He silences Jae-ha with another kiss, matching him fierceness for fierceness, all teeth and fighting and refusal to back down.
He's finding this is a very good way to shut him up after all.]