Either way, with a pause, he just...hums the tune to himself, more to make sure he still remembers it, and then he gives it a shot. It's...slow, as he picks out each note, carefully.
- but you said that you're still serving your country, aren't you? Does that mean you're aiming for the very top, where no one will be able to tell you what to do anymore?
[I need everything about this to not be a thing right now.]
No.
[Sousei's fingers move along the string of the erhu, and he pauses to try again. The notes come more easily, Sousei's head tilted to try to listen to them better. He'll never be an expert at this, but he can play passably, at least.]
I have no interest in leading other people.
[Even his own squad...that was handed to him, and he led because they needed him to lead.]
I will choose my own path to serve my country. If that involves treason, or exposing those who would take advantage of their power, so be it. It it should involve leading others who wish for that guidance, I will do what I can. If it involves basic, proper service, to one who I trust to be following the right path, then I shall listen and obey.
[He lowers the bow, with the slightest of shrugs.]
Acting as anything else is neither in my interests, nor is it my place. [He's just a soldier. An Abe, yes, but a soldier who was rescued and given a new life. He's not meant for thrones or even higher military command. And he's satisfied with that.]
But no matter what it is I choose to do, I will follow my own path to serve and protect my country.
[the irony of it all is that while he's looking at this soldier, scarred and clumsily playing an erhu,Jae-ha sees a flash of red hair, of a young girl who drowns out all other noise when her country is on the line, who will sacrifice and lead and ask for power only because it's what she thinks she needs in order to best serve
he thinks of a woman who gave life back to a town of fishermen, undaunted only because she felt like it was the right thing to do. she created a family out of a bunch of brutes, kept them safe, and helped them retain their humanity in the middle of a harrowing battle
when sousei says all that, jae-ha only laughs and says what he truly believes - ]
Said like that, it just means that you'll be someone that people want to follow - or someone who will find that the path is open for them, no matter what you expect to happen.
[people are drawn to the light.]
I wonder if your place is as simple as you say.
[or if you're one of the people who's destined for something more.]
[...That's an expression Sousei isn't sure how to interpret, in all honesty. The laughter is warm, and not at all at him or mocking in any form, and Sousei looks at Jae-ha and wonders, and for some reason what he hears is Tenka, huffing out an aggravatedly fond--
"People gather around you too, you know!"
--Hm.
He's not bashful, exactly, but he finds that Jae-ha's expression is a little too warm for him to cope with, so he looks away nonetheless, eyes sliding half-shut as he contemplates. If his place is as simple as he says... or if not...]
...Regardless, I will take what may come, and handle it as it comes. That is all I am capable of doing. [And all anyone could be asked to do, he thinks. If it means he has to lead, then...he will do what he can to not disappoint those who are following him.
... Sousei shakes his head a little, thinking of the Yamainu and how even still, they followed him, even though he disbanded the Yamainu properly--and moves to pass the instrument back to Jae-ha.]
Whatever role that may be will have to wait for the future.
[Jae-ha will take the erhu, moving so that he's not sitting in front of Sousei anymore but rather next to him. He lets the erhu rest against him and he doesn't answer Sousei right away, instead letting his fingers play at a song.
the song he'd heard in the fire tribe, about the creation myth of kouka, where the fire tribe believed that they were the descendants of the fire dragon. where they let themselves believe that there was a great path for them, and it led them into this arrogance.
but it gave them a place of pride, too.]
Your country is lucky to have you, treason twice over or not.
[It's a beautiful song--and even more than that, it shows that Jae-ha has settled. His mind is in one place, and no longer jumping from place to place. He is no longer a bundle of nervous energy.
That means that Sousei's task was a success.
It's a strange relief, honestly; he knows he is not always the best at providing that comfort. And it's easier to focus on that than... on those words, the compliments, which he doesn't necessarily disagree with, but that he wasn't expecting from Jae-ha either.
(Earlier, Jae-ha had asked what method he should use, but this might be far closer to it, complimenting his goals and aspirations and not his face.
Sousei doesn't even contemplate that, though.)]
... What has gotten into you now?
[Honestly.]
I was not expecting to hear compliments like that from you. [Though they are not at all bad to hear.] More importantly-- [rather, easier to cope with:] --the instrument sounds far better in your hands than mine.
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You can wow people with it, I'm sure. Eventually they'll be saying 'ah? Is there nothing this man can't do?'
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[And that's perfectly sincere... he's competent enough that that happens anyway, but he doesn't necessarily want it to.]
But I have come this far, I suppose.
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[it's not something he can relate to at all, shackled as he is to want to be admired]
It sounds like a nice way to live.
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It's simply how I've decided how to live.
[He doesn't think it's impressive. It just is.
Either way, with a pause, he just...hums the tune to himself, more to make sure he still remembers it, and then he gives it a shot. It's...slow, as he picks out each note, carefully.
But... he's got the memory for it, at least.]
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Ah, your ear isn't bad either.
... that's quite unfair.
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I don't have an ear for music. It simply was an easy tune that you played for me twice.
[That's all he's got.]
Anything more complex than this would have been very difficult for me.
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[or jae-ha is just mad that he's impressed by sousei consistently :/ ]
There is something you're bad at, isn't there? Besides smiling. And socializing like a normal person.
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...Are you truly frustrated over something like that?
[He's not talking about what he's bad at?? Excuse you.]
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[yes]
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... You are frustrated that you do not think I am bad at anything.
[That's
hilarious]
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Is that what it takes, you sadist.
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[WELL.]
I do find it amusing that this is what frustrates you.
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[SO THAT'S
SOMETHING
HE'S NOT PERFECT AT]
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Yes, well. I have never claimed to be anything more than that.
[You're a mess, Jae-ha.]
Your put out expression is far more tolerable than your smug expressions. [Is Sousei a sadist...]
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anyway - ]
Shut up and play.
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Don't tell me what to do.
[But even so, he shuts up and plays. It's a bit smoother this time; he's learning.]
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[which jae-ha also likes
to be honest this entire thing is awful can we start over]
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[QUITE FRANKLY... OH NO...]
I have not gotten to the point where I can give orders and follow my own path in life only to listen to others' demands.
[Stop]
[1/2]
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- but you said that you're still serving your country, aren't you? Does that mean you're aiming for the very top, where no one will be able to tell you what to do anymore?
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No.
[Sousei's fingers move along the string of the erhu, and he pauses to try again. The notes come more easily, Sousei's head tilted to try to listen to them better. He'll never be an expert at this, but he can play passably, at least.]
I have no interest in leading other people.
[Even his own squad...that was handed to him, and he led because they needed him to lead.]
I will choose my own path to serve my country. If that involves treason, or exposing those who would take advantage of their power, so be it. It it should involve leading others who wish for that guidance, I will do what I can. If it involves basic, proper service, to one who I trust to be following the right path, then I shall listen and obey.
[He lowers the bow, with the slightest of shrugs.]
Acting as anything else is neither in my interests, nor is it my place. [He's just a soldier. An Abe, yes, but a soldier who was rescued and given a new life. He's not meant for thrones or even higher military command. And he's satisfied with that.]
But no matter what it is I choose to do, I will follow my own path to serve and protect my country.
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he thinks of a woman who gave life back to a town of fishermen, undaunted only because she felt like it was the right thing to do. she created a family out of a bunch of brutes, kept them safe, and helped them retain their humanity in the middle of a harrowing battle
when sousei says all that, jae-ha only laughs and says what he truly believes - ]
Said like that, it just means that you'll be someone that people want to follow - or someone who will find that the path is open for them, no matter what you expect to happen.
[people are drawn to the light.]
I wonder if your place is as simple as you say.
[or if you're one of the people who's destined for something more.]
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"People gather around you too, you know!"
--Hm.
He's not bashful, exactly, but he finds that Jae-ha's expression is a little too warm for him to cope with, so he looks away nonetheless, eyes sliding half-shut as he contemplates. If his place is as simple as he says... or if not...]
...Regardless, I will take what may come, and handle it as it comes. That is all I am capable of doing. [And all anyone could be asked to do, he thinks. If it means he has to lead, then...he will do what he can to not disappoint those who are following him.
... Sousei shakes his head a little, thinking of the Yamainu and how even still, they followed him, even though he disbanded the Yamainu properly--and moves to pass the instrument back to Jae-ha.]
Whatever role that may be will have to wait for the future.
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the song he'd heard in the fire tribe, about the creation myth of kouka, where the fire tribe believed that they were the descendants of the fire dragon. where they let themselves believe that there was a great path for them, and it led them into this arrogance.
but it gave them a place of pride, too.]
Your country is lucky to have you, treason twice over or not.
I can say that much with confidence.
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That means that Sousei's task was a success.
It's a strange relief, honestly; he knows he is not always the best at providing that comfort. And it's easier to focus on that than... on those words, the compliments, which he doesn't necessarily disagree with, but that he wasn't expecting from Jae-ha either.
(Earlier, Jae-ha had asked what method he should use, but this might be far closer to it, complimenting his goals and aspirations and not his face.
Sousei doesn't even contemplate that, though.)]
... What has gotten into you now?
[Honestly.]
I was not expecting to hear compliments like that from you. [Though they are not at all bad to hear.] More importantly-- [rather, easier to cope with:] --the instrument sounds far better in your hands than mine.
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