alttitude | [ sousei & jae-ha make mistakes ]

That didn't answer my question either.

[why are they doing this]

So I'll trade you an honest answer for an honest answer.

[There's a contemplative pause at that, and he really does waver between them. But honestly, agreeing to it is basically giving Jae-ha an honest answer anyway--

...So he sighs.]

Fine then. It's a deal.

You first.

[why]

[... A dour look, but:]

Very well then.

You are someone who has gone through significantly more than any one person should have to bear over the course of a short period of time, and now there is this on top of all of that.

Yes.

I am concerned.

[You know.

Jae-ha's an idiot.

Because even after making a deal for an honest answer.

He's a little stunned.]

... ah.

[ . . . and then his honest answer in return. Right.

Jae-ha lets his eyes roam upward, toward the ceiling, even as he relaxes back against the bed and hums softly. Will he be alright?]

... You feel it, right? The way that my presence is supposed to make everything feel... easier, like that's how it's meant to be. But that's not how you actually feel, that's just how your blood - how this castle - is making you feel. Even if I wouldn't mind if felt that way about me on your own... it's uncertain whether that's the case.

It's like... that. I'm supposed to be brothers with the dragons, because that's what fate told me. I was meant to serve a king that I'd never met. I hated it, so I ignored it. When they came to find me in Awa - when I was still with Captain Gi-gan - I ran from them, all over town.

I wasn't - actually meant to care this much.

[... Well. That's a fair and honest answer, he thinks. It's playing on something that still bothers Jae-ha in a subtle and terrible way, and Sousei crosses his arms contemplatively.]

Do you regret that you care about them this much, though it now aligns you with that fate you were trying to escape?

[ . . . Jae-ha pauses at that, and frowns. Openly.]

... Saying yes would be saying that I regret all the times I've had with them since, and I don't.

They weren't alone when they found me - they brought along a young girl... the one who is meant to be the reincarnation of King Hiryuu.

But - I don't follow her because of that.

I was ready to run from her and them for as long as I could but.... she helped save Awa, and end the fight that the Captain and I had been waging for years. It's for that reason, because she was someone that I wanted to follow, who was worth following on her own merit, that I went with her.

The dragon blood is annoying - it gives me feeling toward her that I don't want.... but the decision to follow her, to join the dragons, was my own.

[So that's how it is, huh...? Sousei's contemplative, listening and processing, before he finally nods thoughtfully to himself.]

Then in that sense, you've taken the fate that was laid out for you and...followed it anyway.

[Which he's sure grates on Jae-ha. And yet--]

But in another sense, you have simply chosen a path of your own, regardless of the feelings that plague you, and will follow that to the end. Is that correct?

[It does grate on him - it's obvious in the way that his expression wrinkles a bit at the way it's pointed out, though it smooths out again a moment later. He tries not to think about it that way, like he played right into fate's hands but....

He sighs.]

... I follow her and them not because of some ancient prophecy, but because as people they're the ones I want to be with.

Like I wouldn't mind being next to you right now - but I hate it since the castle told me it's what I'm meant to want.

[prickly bitch]

Hm... yes, I see.

[In all honesty:]

I can believe in a sentiment like that. Being forced into something, constrained into some ridiculous fate...

[Bah.]

You are the sort of person who is at your best when you are free anyway, correct?

[Jae-ha lets his gaze fall on Sousei's face for a moment, before it wanders back upward to the ceiling.]

... I think so.

At the very least, I think pursuing that freedom to make whatever choices I want - that's the most beautiful way to live.

Indeed.

[No arguments here, honestly; that's Tenka's way of life now, in a lot of ways, and he's come to admire that.]

It is not something that should be taken from you, either way.

No - that's the truly ugly thing.

[And that he'll say with far more certainty.]

But anything that I endure here.... it's hardly new. Maybe the situation is a little twisted around from usual, but it's nothing that I haven't experienced before.

[Even the loss.

Though what he doesn't say is that this might be the first time he's lost someone so important to him.]

So you shouldn't have reason to worry.

[Sousei just shakes his head at that, simply and calmly, and:]

You do not get to decide for me what I am concerned over or not.

[Yeah.]

I can decide that on my own perfectly well, and I have already decided for myself.