[ . . . Jae-ha laughs at that, even as he pours himself a drink and takes a sip of it.]
You know... you really could stand to be a bit more honest.
Tomorrow won't be the end.
[He says that first, firm, because he doesn't want to entertain the idea of it not being true. They will make it past tomorrow, because Sousei has a future that he needs to carve for himself. Because even if Gi-gan is gone, Jae-ha has a home that's waiting for him. A story that he needs to continue until the very end.
. . . ]
But if it is - I would love to know what you'd actually want to say to me.
[He's bad at being honest, isn't that obvious? Sousei sips his sake and frowns at Jae-ha over the top of it, and ultimately:]
...What I actually want to say to you...
[He looks contemplative for far too long, and then he finally settles on:]
Very well then.
[Oh?]
I find you to be incredibly obnoxious. [Oh.] You are annoying when you are not being serious, and your flirtatious ways are beyond aggravating. You have an annoying face as it is, and the smugness you often wear on it is frustrating.
[How many negative adjectives can Sousei come up with...]
... But even so, it is a relief to see you looking more like yourself. And I suppose if I must... I do respect you for who you have decided to be--
[ . . . . that was an incredibly honest answer. Jae-ha blinks as he continues to sip his drink and - in all honesty, the negative adjectives aren't anything he hasn't heard before. It's easy to endure now, when he's used to the barbed words even when he knows better.
It's nice to confirm that's the case with Sousei too.
Jae-ha lets the words hang in the air for a moment and then he can't help but wonder:]
More like myself....
Do you think I can finally get you to admit that you pay attention to me?
[ . . . that is so honest and Jae-ha doesn't know what to do with it.
It's what makes him pause as he hums, amused and wondering all at once:] How much of a lightweight are you? If I get you another cup, I wonder you would say?
[stupid,,
but also.
He becomes quiet for a moment before offering:]
Well, I suppose it's only fair that the experience here hasn't been all bad, then. At the very least, I can say that I have fun knowing you.
[present tense]
Is there anything else I should know? Even if it feels like cheating to ask now, tired as we both are.
Because he's just going to catch onto Sousei's hand with his free one, pulling it away from his face (though he also was fine with it there,,) and catching ahold of his wrist as Jae-ha leans in.]
Is that what you'd have left to say for me? Compliments?
I meant that I could still stand to know more about you -
[Ugh...... gross, now Jae-ha's so close. Sousei just tries to tug his arm away, nose wrinkling, though he can't move back too quickly or risk spilling what remains of his sake.
but jae-ha is going to let go of sousei (slowly, so he's not surprised) and then move to ghost his hand over sousei's shoulder to make sure he doesn't move too far back either]
Sousei just scowls vaguely in response at that, shaking his head simply. He's definitely still going to try to shrug Jae-ha's hand off, even at that light a touch.]
Your interest in other people is never serious--not like that.
[Because Sousei is bad at understanding subtle things like Jae-ha's flirting as the various mechanisms it is.
He's too Sousei for that.]
I have watched the way you act towards people. It is too lackadaisical for me to believe this is any sort of serious. I have seen the way you act when you are serious, after all.
Jae-ha was supposed to just confirm he wasn't serious at all at any times and yet here he is, doing the opposite. Stop...that?]
...
[A beat, and Sousei just...sighs and downs the remainder of his drink. Too tired. Too much to deal with. He can't cope with this.]
Yes, well.
I suppose we are in the same situation. That, at least, makes some sort of sense. And I suppose your company isn't absolutely abhorrent right now, even if you always are a vague irritation.
but.... well. sousei's being very honest, you know? and jae-ha had told him that he's just a very honest person, even if that makes him rather difficult to follow. so he seems to pause for a few more seconds and... if sousei's drinking, maybe he won't even remember this.
that would be nice.]
... well, you're rather impossible. Too serious, to the point of not realizing when there are people being drawn to you since - at the end of the day, for whatever reason, people are drawn to you. Anti-social, secretive, incredibly dishonest.... sometimes even accidentally, since you can't see sincerity for what it is sometimes. I chalk that up next to anti-social.
[He's not that drunk, Jae-ha, sorry. Tipsy, yes, and tired, absolutely, but he will remember this.
For better or for worse.
Wow, good thing they're dying tomorrow, right?
... And all of those things he's heard in various ways before (usually from Tenka). That people are drawn to him, but also all of his negative traits. He just snorts at them, amusedly, as Jae-ha lists them.
But.
What comes after that pause gives Sousei pause, and he stares into his newly refilled cup quietly for a long moment, almost contemplatively. "Beautiful", huh...? What a strong word...
It's strange. After a week, even one as crazy as this one... he shouldn't really feel quite so strongly about this, right? But he does nonetheless, about this stupid man who has already lost so much in this pathetic hell-game, and yet still can sit there with alcohol in hand and call Sousei's way of life beautiful.]
I suppose... after all of that...
It would be rude to not admit that I have been glad to meet you as well. [Oh, sincerity!] Despite your frustrating traits...
You've impressed me this week. [Both Jae-ha and Gi-gan deserved so much better than this, but--] ...It was a pleasure to learn of your home, and what you and the captain both did for it.
[ - but okay, right, Jae-ha laughs even as he refills his own cup and takes a sip. They'll drink and drink and - maybe Sousei isn't quite in the frame of mind to keep looking for exits. That's fine. Even if he's kept up until sunrise and after, Jae-ha will keep looking.
For them both.
He'll reach for Sousei's free hand again, grasping it by the wrist if Sousei will let him. He doesn't move it yet, but he reaches to get Sousei's attention.]
You don't like the idea of it but have nothing to say regarding it's truthfulness, is that it? Or is it just wishful thinking on my part?
[ . . . though a lot of their conversations feel like wishful thinking on Jae-ha's part. He laughs faintly and - ah, he really shouldn't push his luck. He knows.
But Sousei didn't take his hand back.
So Jae-ha will continue what he's done over the weekend - it's not the first time he's pulled out this affectionate gesture, but it is one of the few times he's cared to demonstrate it in the company of just two - and move to press his lips to the back of Sousei's hand.
And then let it go.
Then, as if commenting on nothing at all:]
Oh well - I think we're allowed to be a little stubborn and selfish tonight.
Sousei blinks slowly in response to that, at the pressure of Jae-ha's lips against the back of his hand and then to his face--and then retrieves his hand entirely willingly when Jae-ha lets go.
They can not talk about that.
Sousei is fine with that.]
I believe if anyone, we are the ones allowed to be as stubborn and as selfish as we wish.
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[Loser.
Still. He's taking the sake cup, what more can be asked of him? He looks at it for a long moment, and then he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
Seems like he's accepting it despite his words.]
... But what is the harm in it, really?
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You know... you really could stand to be a bit more honest.
Tomorrow won't be the end.
[He says that first, firm, because he doesn't want to entertain the idea of it not being true. They will make it past tomorrow, because Sousei has a future that he needs to carve for himself. Because even if Gi-gan is gone, Jae-ha has a home that's waiting for him. A story that he needs to continue until the very end.
. . . ]
But if it is - I would love to know what you'd actually want to say to me.
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...What I actually want to say to you...
[He looks contemplative for far too long, and then he finally settles on:]
Very well then.
[Oh?]
I find you to be incredibly obnoxious. [Oh.] You are annoying when you are not being serious, and your flirtatious ways are beyond aggravating. You have an annoying face as it is, and the smugness you often wear on it is frustrating.
[How many negative adjectives can Sousei come up with...]
... But even so, it is a relief to see you looking more like yourself. And I suppose if I must... I do respect you for who you have decided to be--
When you are serious.
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It's nice to confirm that's the case with Sousei too.
Jae-ha lets the words hang in the air for a moment and then he can't help but wonder:]
More like myself....
Do you think I can finally get you to admit that you pay attention to me?
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[Oh.
He sips his drink and offers up a dry, but remarkably honest:]
We have been stuck paying attention to each other through very similar circumstances in this place, for better or for worse.
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It's what makes him pause as he hums, amused and wondering all at once:] How much of a lightweight are you? If I get you another cup, I wonder you would say?
[stupid,,
but also.
He becomes quiet for a moment before offering:]
Well, I suppose it's only fair that the experience here hasn't been all bad, then. At the very least, I can say that I have fun knowing you.
[present tense]
Is there anything else I should know? Even if it feels like cheating to ask now, tired as we both are.
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I am not a lightweight.
[Pls!!! though.
Yeah. He is tired.]
And you are obnoxious. [He just reaches out with his free hand to shove at Jae-ha's face. Cheating bastard.]
Stop fishing for compliments from me.
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Because he's just going to catch onto Sousei's hand with his free one, pulling it away from his face (though he also was fine with it there,,) and catching ahold of his wrist as Jae-ha leans in.]
Is that what you'd have left to say for me? Compliments?
I meant that I could still stand to know more about you -
But if that's what else you had in mind.... ♥
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Unfortunate!!!]
No. It is not. But your fishing was very obvious.
[So!! There!!]
Stop flirting with me and focus.
[Focus on what, Sousei...]
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that's
kind of cute,,
but jae-ha is going to let go of sousei (slowly, so he's not surprised) and then move to ghost his hand over sousei's shoulder to make sure he doesn't move too far back either]
I am focusing.
What if my interest in you as a topic is serious?
[it like
both is and isn't
but
what if]
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Sousei just scowls vaguely in response at that, shaking his head simply. He's definitely still going to try to shrug Jae-ha's hand off, even at that light a touch.]
Your interest in other people is never serious--not like that.
[At least, that's how he sees it.]
So no, I do not believe that at all.
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Still he blinks at that, then laughing faintly.]
Do you think?
When did you decide that?
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He's too Sousei for that.]
I have watched the way you act towards people. It is too lackadaisical for me to believe this is any sort of serious. I have seen the way you act when you are serious, after all.
[Help him, he's bad at human interaction.]
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[let him figure out how to puzzle through this, because he finds it honestly to be really funny.]
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... That is not what I said. I just find it very difficult to believe you take your flirtations seriously. There isn't anything more to it than that.
[You're flirting with like. Literally everyone, Jae-ha.]
Is that so difficult for you to believe?
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[ . . . so yes, yes he does flirt around. He won't deny that.]
But that doesn't mean my interest in you isn't sincere. I'm not sure how else to prove it more than I am now.
I was looking for you, after all.
[on the eve of god knows what waiting for them]
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so baffled.
Like.
Jae-ha was supposed to just confirm he wasn't serious at all at any times and yet here he is, doing the opposite. Stop...that?]
...
[A beat, and Sousei just...sighs and downs the remainder of his drink. Too tired. Too much to deal with. He can't cope with this.]
Yes, well.
I suppose we are in the same situation. That, at least, makes some sort of sense. And I suppose your company isn't absolutely abhorrent right now, even if you always are a vague irritation.
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[guess who's pouring sousei another cup
it's jae-ha
but.... well. sousei's being very honest, you know? and jae-ha had told him that he's just a very honest person, even if that makes him rather difficult to follow. so he seems to pause for a few more seconds and... if sousei's drinking, maybe he won't even remember this.
that would be nice.]
... well, you're rather impossible. Too serious, to the point of not realizing when there are people being drawn to you since - at the end of the day, for whatever reason, people are drawn to you. Anti-social, secretive, incredibly dishonest.... sometimes even accidentally, since you can't see sincerity for what it is sometimes. I chalk that up next to anti-social.
[ . . . ]
But your way of life is beautiful.
So I'm glad I got to see even a part of it.
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For better or for worse.
Wow, good thing they're dying tomorrow, right?
... And all of those things he's heard in various ways before (usually from Tenka). That people are drawn to him, but also all of his negative traits. He just snorts at them, amusedly, as Jae-ha lists them.
But.
What comes after that pause gives Sousei pause, and he stares into his newly refilled cup quietly for a long moment, almost contemplatively. "Beautiful", huh...? What a strong word...
It's strange. After a week, even one as crazy as this one... he shouldn't really feel quite so strongly about this, right? But he does nonetheless, about this stupid man who has already lost so much in this pathetic hell-game, and yet still can sit there with alcohol in hand and call Sousei's way of life beautiful.]
I suppose... after all of that...
It would be rude to not admit that I have been glad to meet you as well. [Oh, sincerity!] Despite your frustrating traits...
You've impressed me this week. [Both Jae-ha and Gi-gan deserved so much better than this, but--] ...It was a pleasure to learn of your home, and what you and the captain both did for it.
[1/2]
[Just saying.]
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For them both.
He'll reach for Sousei's free hand again, grasping it by the wrist if Sousei will let him. He doesn't move it yet, but he reaches to get Sousei's attention.]
It was? Have been?
I don't like that tense.
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To use present tense would be to admit that I am currently feeling that way, and I do not like the idea of that.
[Oh.
Well.
At least he doesn't miss a beat on that one.
(This is far from the most productive way to find a way out, but... it's fine.
They still have a few hours yet.)]
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[ . . . though a lot of their conversations feel like wishful thinking on Jae-ha's part. He laughs faintly and - ah, he really shouldn't push his luck. He knows.
But Sousei didn't take his hand back.
So Jae-ha will continue what he's done over the weekend - it's not the first time he's pulled out this affectionate gesture, but it is one of the few times he's cared to demonstrate it in the company of just two - and move to press his lips to the back of Sousei's hand.
And then let it go.
Then, as if commenting on nothing at all:]
Oh well - I think we're allowed to be a little stubborn and selfish tonight.
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Sousei blinks slowly in response to that, at the pressure of Jae-ha's lips against the back of his hand and then to his face--and then retrieves his hand entirely willingly when Jae-ha lets go.
They can not talk about that.
Sousei is fine with that.]
I believe if anyone, we are the ones allowed to be as stubborn and as selfish as we wish.
[Just for tonight.]