[hey what's up, hikage, jae-ha's in the kitchen and now you're trapped and must canoodle
... just kidding! actually he's cooking. it smells good too? he seems to be making a stew of a sort, testing out out a spoonful for himself and thinking thoughtfully as the flavor plays on his tongue. then he's going to turn when he hears someone else enter, and then get another spoonful]
just kidding. Hikage looks... vaguely out of sorts when he comes into the kitchen. His eyes are distant, like he's thinking about something else - and, honestly, there are plenty of "something elses" to think about. But when Jae-ha addresses him, he snaps back to attention, and he's the same as ever. ]
I imagine that might be the case for plenty - but skipping too many meals... I wouldn't recommend it. The stew can keep for a while, if anyone gets hungry later, but I'd still rather they didn't have to eat anything that tasted terrible.
[Yoon would be so proud of Jae-ha trying to take the reins like this.]
[ and maybe bake a little... for someone else, not himself, because he doesn't really feel like eating at the moment. But there's not much else to do to past the time. He rests a hand on his hip, glancing at the stew for a moment. ]
I don't think so? Do you know Sanji? I've been trying to watch him - his food's delicious. But I'm not sure if I'm recreating it correctly, or just being... well, hopeful.
[so?
he holds the tasting spoon out to hikage in case he'd like to try]
No. [ stewed wild vegetables are actually his favorite food, so... the opposite?! what jae-ha is making sounds really good to him. ] That sounds fine. I just wanted to make sure you weren't making dragon soup or something weird.
[ he read your profile!! Hikage reaches out to take the spoon from Jae-ha, giving it a taste. Is it tastie. ]
What. No, I'm the only dragon among us, that sounds inhumane.
[THAT SOUNDS SO BAD!!!!!
But he's also watching Hikage pretty closely - the thing is that Jae-ha is actually a fairly good cook! On top of that, he's been watching Sanji cook hence why his sense of flavor and taste has only gotten better as he's been trying to learn quietly.
[ jae-ha over here scraping his leg scales into the soup stock...
Hikage isn't the most expressive character; still, it's good soup, and very different from anything he's eaten recently. He largely sticks to Japanese food, and the traditional sort, at that - it's safe to say that whatever flavors might have come out of a combined effort from Sanji and Jae-ha are fairly new to his palate. His eyebrows raise a little. ]
[ he has been placated by good food, it seems. Hikage takes a step back, hovering around the counter as he waits. Maybe this is a good thing - it'll help him unwind. ]
[ he answers that with a noncommittal hum. Eichi was hard to read. Still, he probably was bothered by what he had to do today. Drowning isn't a pleasant way to die - or a pleasant way to kill, he imagines. ]
... I didn't know you knew each other, but you two probably get along.
Well, I try to get along with most people in the castle. So far, I think I'm doing well!
[except for Dazai
fuck that guy]
.... but he probably needs company more than most right now, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Or maybe I'm just an intrusive adult trying to look after the kids... who knows?
[ Hikage looks pretty okay, actually - not thrilled, but his usual RBF isn't shaken, although his expression darkens slightly upon seeing Jae-ha, as if he's reminded of what happened today. ]
What is it?
[ he approaches anyway. maybe jae-ha has more food for him... ]
Yeah. [ a pause. did she get into more trouble... ] What about her?
[ the fact that he's being invited to sit makes him think this conversation might be a long one, so he takes the offered seat, albeit a little hesitantly. ]
I don't need you to tell me that. [ a sigh. ] I'm trying my best to take care of her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. She just rushes into danger constantly without saying a word to me. No matter how many times I tell her not to... What kind of girl acts like that?
[ . . . . and Jae-ha can't help but manage a laugh at that. That sort of description reminds him so sincerely of Yona, that his answer is too easy - ]
The best kinds?
It means she has a good heart.
... you're right, that she should be careful about not taking on more than she can handle. The lack of caution is probably what the most concerning part is. But... well, I think it's very endearing too.
[ it's not endearing, it's just annoying!! if she dies, he's in big trouble, too. They still haven't seen what happens to partners who get left alone, thanks to whoever's saving people, but he's certain it'd be the end for him. ]
Anyway, short of handcuffing us together, I'm out of ideas on how to "keep an eye on her."
She might not know you want to hear them. But you do, don't you? Because you care about her.
[that much is obvious]
... you're partners. Your lives are tied together - so I think she'd want to trust you, to tell you how she's feeling. It's... well, just how people are.
[ please imagine that as the most dismissive tsun "betsu ni" you can, because that's what it is ]
Like you said, our lives are tied together, so we have to rely on each other. I don't know if that means she feels like that towards me... Actually, it would be stupid if she did, in a game like this. After all... I could just be lying to her.
Unless you're one of the murderers and need to cover your tracks - [aka Sharpay, with Jae-ha can acknowledge] - but if you're close enough with your partner, you might as well cover for each other. Not that I hope that that happens, but it wouldn't be surprising when your survival rate goes up if you have someone who's willing to work with you.
[apparently despite what happened that first week jae-ha really believes in this partner thing]
[ he rests his chin in his hand, looking off to the side. ]
I haven't hurt anyone... But I don't have any memories, either. What if I was actually the most despicable person here? If that was the case, Stephanie wouldn't tolerate me, even if we were partners. She'd put herself in danger to get rid of me. She's a "hero," after all. In that case, it would be natural for me to lie to her - to make her believe I was someone else.
[ a pause; Hikage closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. ]
... But she's an idiot, so she hasn't even thought about that. She believes everything I say.
[ he's obviously a little lost. this weird, abstract problem he's having is also probably incredibly unclear to poor jae-ha... ]
[It is absolutely unclear to Jae-ha as he tries to piece it together with what he knows - an amnesiac, is it? An amnesiac who doesn't know what he did before, which might make him a terrible person.]
... why do you assume so immediately that you might've been the worst person? You could've been the best person in the entire universe. Or is there something else you're not saying?
[He wonders that last bit out loud, but moves on - Hikage doesn't need to answer, not if he doesn't want to.]
Besides - I think she'd tell you the same thing that I'm thinking, because Steph might be reckless but she doesn't strike me as an ignorant person.
And that it mostly depends on who you want to be, from here on out, that'll determine her opinion of you.
[ there is indeed something he's not saying, and he continues to not say it; instead, he simply looks back over at Jae-ha with a neutral expression. ]
You make it sound easy. Most people aren't so good at letting go of the past, no matter what your intentions are. Just look at Akechi.
[ most people here still want to kill him, as far as he can tell. There's a dull ache in the back of his skull. ]
... It might have been easier if he'd died, instead of being forced to show what he'd become to everyone here. How many people that he'd called friends before are rejecting him now?
[ and maybe, just maybe, Hikage is afraid of being in that position. He doesn't want to bond with Stephanie, only to have her reject him when she learns the truth. He's become so filthy - even if he remembers his past and tries to truly become "Hikage," he'll never be able to get these stains of what he's done out. ]
When I think of 'the past' I'm afraid I think a bit further than 'in the past two weeks'. It's hard to change your colors overnight - that's probably why people distrust him now. But even for him.... well, pressure and desperation can make people do uncharacteristic things.
I don't know anything about the type of place he came from.... but he's young. I find it hard to hold him to the same standard as a soldier, a fighter, or an assassin.
[But that's not what Jae-ha wants to stick on - his opinion on Akechi is a fair deal more lenient than some of the people here. He knows that.]
Unless you've killed someone here, of your own volition, without prompting... I don't think that Steph would turn away from you.
[ he shifts where he sits, uncomfortable. It's not because he's guilty - of the crimes being described, he certainly isn't - but because Jae-ha's words have the ring of truth to them, and he doesn't know what that means. Isn't it too late for this? He should just be casting it all aside - there's no place for him to go, nowhere, and all of these bonds are meaningless lies, and yet he remembers Dragon's words, and he finds part of himself hoping they're true.
These people are ruining everything. ]
... She isn't that kind of person. You're right. [ a sigh; he puts his face in his hands. ] That's why she's messing me up.
Jae-ha watches for a moment, his expression turning more sympathetic for a moment. It's interesting, he thinks, watching someone who seems to be learning what positive regard is for the first time. What it's like to be facing unconditional trust.]
.... I felt that way too, the first time someone trusted me when I didn't do much to deserve it.
I guess it made me want to try harder to become that person they wanted to believe in. It wasn't as hard as I thought.
[ . . . ]
But that's me. And you're you. And at the end, you should just do what makes you happy.
[ is he really himself? he doesn't know anymore. he wonders if it's as easy as jae-ha says.
then he wonders at the fact that jae-ha seems to have hit the nail so squarely on the head, and proceeds to wonder how they even got onto this topic. he probably shouldn't be listening to anything he says... but the pause between Jae-ha's last word and Hikage's response is a bit too long for him to be shutting everything out. ]
... Whatever. Why am I even having this conversation with you? If you're just worried about Stephanie getting hurt again, then that makes two of us.
[Jae-ha laughs at that - more out of amusement than anything else.]
Well it's not like we can limit her and what she can do - so it's just a matter of making sure that she's fine afterward. That'll probably include talking to her, and more sincerely asking how she's feeling.
[if hikage really wants to go back to that topic??????
but]
But I think you're an interesting person, and not bad to talk to. So I don't mind if you ever want to revisit the other part of our conversation.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 1, sunday
... just kidding! actually he's cooking. it smells good too? he seems to be making a stew of a sort, testing out out a spoonful for himself and thinking thoughtfully as the flavor plays on his tongue. then he's going to turn when he hears someone else enter, and then get another spoonful]
Ah - can you taste test this?
[jae-ha someone just got poisoned]
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just kidding. Hikage looks... vaguely out of sorts when he comes into the kitchen. His eyes are distant, like he's thinking about something else - and, honestly, there are plenty of "something elses" to think about. But when Jae-ha addresses him, he snaps back to attention, and he's the same as ever. ]
... Huh? Now?
[ someone just died ......... ]
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[What's wrong with now?]
If you're worried about poison, I can have another bite myself first - I mostly just need another person's opinion, not a corpse.
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[ what type is he, then, hikage?! ]
... I just don't have much of an appetite.
[ he just watched a high schooler drown another high schooler thanks ]
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I imagine that might be the case for plenty - but skipping too many meals... I wouldn't recommend it. The stew can keep for a while, if anyone gets hungry later, but I'd still rather they didn't have to eat anything that tasted terrible.
[Yoon would be so proud of Jae-ha trying to take the reins like this.]
Did you just need water then?
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[ and maybe bake a little... for someone else, not himself, because he doesn't really feel like eating at the moment. But there's not much else to do to past the time. He rests a hand on his hip, glancing at the stew for a moment. ]
Does it actually taste terrible?
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[so?
he holds the tasting spoon out to hikage in case he'd like to try]
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[ NO TRICKS!! AND THERE BETTER BE NO MUSHROOMS EITHER ]
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jae-ha looks over it again and hums]
Beef, potatoes, carrots, broccoli... you're not one of those people who refuse their vegetables, are you?
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[ he read your profile!! Hikage reaches out to take the spoon from Jae-ha, giving it a taste. Is it tastie. ]
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[THAT SOUNDS SO BAD!!!!!
But he's also watching Hikage pretty closely - the thing is that Jae-ha is actually a fairly good cook! On top of that, he's been watching Sanji cook hence why his sense of flavor and taste has only gotten better as he's been trying to learn quietly.
So the answer is.
Yes, it's quite good. ♥]
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Hikage isn't the most expressive character; still, it's good soup, and very different from anything he's eaten recently. He largely sticks to Japanese food, and the traditional sort, at that - it's safe to say that whatever flavors might have come out of a combined effort from Sanji and Jae-ha are fairly new to his palate. His eyebrows raise a little. ]
... That's not bad.
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And Jae-ha will just hum.]
Oh? Then I'll prepare a bowl for you - I was getting this together for someone else, but it's impossible to make a serving just for one, you know?
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[ he has been placated by good food, it seems. Hikage takes a step back, hovering around the counter as he waits. Maybe this is a good thing - it'll help him unwind. ]
Who was it for?
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[he who fucking had to kill another teenager today]
... I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't have his appetite, but there should probably at least be an effort made.
[but since hikage said the food is good to go jae-ha will prepare a bowl for him!! your local housedragon]
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... I didn't know you knew each other, but you two probably get along.
[ when he thinks about it. ]
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[except for Dazai
fuck that guy]
.... but he probably needs company more than most right now, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Or maybe I'm just an intrusive adult trying to look after the kids... who knows?
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You don't look that much older than him, [ points out Hikage. ] But you're probably right. His neck's on the line, too.
week 2, sunday
That much is for sure.
Still, Jae-ha is probably just somewhere bandaging up the new cuts in his hands when he sees Hikage pass by and waves a hand to get his attention.]
Oh! Hikage - a moment of your time?
[He still offers up a smile - it just doesn't reach his eyes this week. Not really.]
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What is it?
[ he approaches anyway. maybe jae-ha has more food for him... ]
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but jae-ha just tilts his head, gesturing for hikage to sit with him if he wants to? hang out with him, talk]
Your Steph's partner, aren't you?
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Yeah. [ a pause. did she get into more trouble... ] What about her?
[ the fact that he's being invited to sit makes him think this conversation might be a long one, so he takes the offered seat, albeit a little hesitantly. ]
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but also Jae-ha will just tilt his head]
... well, she helped in finding the body today of one of the younger members of the castle today.
So I would say keeping an eye on her is pretty important, if you can.
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The best kinds?
It means she has a good heart.
... you're right, that she should be careful about not taking on more than she can handle. The lack of caution is probably what the most concerning part is. But... well, I think it's very endearing too.
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[ it's not endearing, it's just annoying!! if she dies, he's in big trouble, too. They still haven't seen what happens to partners who get left alone, thanks to whoever's saving people, but he's certain it'd be the end for him. ]
Anyway, short of handcuffing us together, I'm out of ideas on how to "keep an eye on her."
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[like he barely knows steph but he has a Very Distinct Feeling. also the fact that like. no one likes being handcuffed most of the time.
(.... except. y'know.)
anyway]
Well, you ask her how she's feeling, don't you? Just checking in on her?
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... Sometimes. She's always injured, so usually I can tell just by looking.
[ Hikage is a bad friend... he averts his eyes. ]
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Oh Hikage.
You're so difficult otome route sometimes.]
You should ask.
There are things going on with a person that you can't tell just by looking, you know.
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[ grumble grumble. ]
But if she wants to tell me those things, she should just tell me. ... I don't know why she'd want to, though.
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She might not know you want to hear them. But you do, don't you? Because you care about her.
[that much is obvious]
... you're partners. Your lives are tied together - so I think she'd want to trust you, to tell you how she's feeling. It's... well, just how people are.
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[ please imagine that as the most dismissive tsun "betsu ni" you can, because that's what it is ]
Like you said, our lives are tied together, so we have to rely on each other. I don't know if that means she feels like that towards me... Actually, it would be stupid if she did, in a game like this. After all... I could just be lying to her.
[ a frown. ]
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[???? Just. Softly.
??????????????]
Unless you're one of the murderers and need to cover your tracks - [aka Sharpay, with Jae-ha can acknowledge] - but if you're close enough with your partner, you might as well cover for each other. Not that I hope that that happens, but it wouldn't be surprising when your survival rate goes up if you have someone who's willing to work with you.
[apparently despite what happened that first week jae-ha really believes in this partner thing]
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I haven't hurt anyone... But I don't have any memories, either. What if I was actually the most despicable person here? If that was the case, Stephanie wouldn't tolerate me, even if we were partners. She'd put herself in danger to get rid of me. She's a "hero," after all. In that case, it would be natural for me to lie to her - to make her believe I was someone else.
[ a pause; Hikage closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. ]
... But she's an idiot, so she hasn't even thought about that. She believes everything I say.
[ he's obviously a little lost. this weird, abstract problem he's having is also probably incredibly unclear to poor jae-ha... ]
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... why do you assume so immediately that you might've been the worst person? You could've been the best person in the entire universe. Or is there something else you're not saying?
[He wonders that last bit out loud, but moves on - Hikage doesn't need to answer, not if he doesn't want to.]
Besides - I think she'd tell you the same thing that I'm thinking, because Steph might be reckless but she doesn't strike me as an ignorant person.
And that it mostly depends on who you want to be, from here on out, that'll determine her opinion of you.
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You make it sound easy. Most people aren't so good at letting go of the past, no matter what your intentions are. Just look at Akechi.
[ most people here still want to kill him, as far as he can tell. There's a dull ache in the back of his skull. ]
... It might have been easier if he'd died, instead of being forced to show what he'd become to everyone here. How many people that he'd called friends before are rejecting him now?
[ and maybe, just maybe, Hikage is afraid of being in that position. He doesn't want to bond with Stephanie, only to have her reject him when she learns the truth. He's become so filthy - even if he remembers his past and tries to truly become "Hikage," he'll never be able to get these stains of what he's done out. ]
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I don't know anything about the type of place he came from.... but he's young. I find it hard to hold him to the same standard as a soldier, a fighter, or an assassin.
[But that's not what Jae-ha wants to stick on - his opinion on Akechi is a fair deal more lenient than some of the people here. He knows that.]
Unless you've killed someone here, of your own volition, without prompting... I don't think that Steph would turn away from you.
She doesn't seem like that kind of person.
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[ he shifts where he sits, uncomfortable. It's not because he's guilty - of the crimes being described, he certainly isn't - but because Jae-ha's words have the ring of truth to them, and he doesn't know what that means. Isn't it too late for this? He should just be casting it all aside - there's no place for him to go, nowhere, and all of these bonds are meaningless lies, and yet he remembers Dragon's words, and he finds part of himself hoping they're true.
These people are ruining everything. ]
... She isn't that kind of person. You're right. [ a sigh; he puts his face in his hands. ] That's why she's messing me up.
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Jae-ha watches for a moment, his expression turning more sympathetic for a moment. It's interesting, he thinks, watching someone who seems to be learning what positive regard is for the first time. What it's like to be facing unconditional trust.]
.... I felt that way too, the first time someone trusted me when I didn't do much to deserve it.
I guess it made me want to try harder to become that person they wanted to believe in. It wasn't as hard as I thought.
[ . . . ]
But that's me. And you're you. And at the end, you should just do what makes you happy.
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then he wonders at the fact that jae-ha seems to have hit the nail so squarely on the head, and proceeds to wonder how they even got onto this topic. he probably shouldn't be listening to anything he says... but the pause between Jae-ha's last word and Hikage's response is a bit too long for him to be shutting everything out. ]
... Whatever. Why am I even having this conversation with you? If you're just worried about Stephanie getting hurt again, then that makes two of us.
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Well it's not like we can limit her and what she can do - so it's just a matter of making sure that she's fine afterward. That'll probably include talking to her, and more sincerely asking how she's feeling.
[if hikage really wants to go back to that topic??????
but]
But I think you're an interesting person, and not bad to talk to. So I don't mind if you ever want to revisit the other part of our conversation.
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That's not what I said. You're the one who brought it up in the first place.
[ grousing ]