[ cardia deserves a better otome route than jae-ha ]

[alttitude]

what if i live enough weeks to actually justify this catch all

Comments

[alttitude]

- thank you, dear Cardia.

[ . . . and he'll move to blow it cooler, taking a sip before he responds.]

... what do you think of it all? Of the decisions made? Of the options proposed?

[discardia]

I don't agree with it. If we kill someone in the middle of a trial, we're no better than the people who have also killed.

[alttitude]

... you're probably right. Depending on what they were promised - it doesn't really make sense to take our anger out on them.

People were probably talking out of hurt and pain, seeking revenge like that.

[discardia]

I know. That's what I told myself, anyway. Just like with the villagers I met.

[ they can't really be blamed. ]

[alttitude]

.... I don't know if it's quite the same. You didn't do anything to deserve any of that.

[But he won't fixate on it if she doesn't want to. Rather - ]

Well, it's probably better if we proceed in this castle without judging people too harshly.

[except for dazai

jae-ha still doesn't like dazai]

[discardia]

I know. I just also think it's going to be tough for everyone as we continue losing more people.

[alttitude]

... it will be. There's no easy way to lose someone.

[Now that it's happened twice in his life - both to someone he didn't care for, and someone who meant the world to him. The rest of the castle deaths only compounded on that.]

I wonder what they're being offered, to get them to agree...

[discardia]

I don't know. They might even be getting threatened.

...

The truth is, what scares me the most isn't the thought about getting killed. It's the thought that I'll somehow end up having to kill someone myself-- that no matter how much I say I won't or that I don't want to, I won't be able to refuse.

[alttitude]

[ . . . . Jae-ha pauses at that. He reaches out to take her hands in his if she'll let him.]

.... I know. It's a scary thing, isn't it? You shouldn't have to go through something like that. I'd rather if you never have to make the choice either.

[He'd told someone else this and - ]

.... Sousei would be quite mad if he found out I said this.

But I'd want you to make whatever choice would be best for you, and what you could live with.

[discardia]

[ She'll let him, though she glances down at their hands as though she's not quite registering it. ]

Do you think... we're even given a choice, Jae-ha?

[alttitude]

.... I do.... but I don't expect the choices to be pretty.

If I were to be pulled into one of their messes... they'd probably kill me if I didn't agree to kill someone. [ . . . ] But I still think that's the choice that I would make.

I've had more than enough of people that I don't respect telling me what to do - and I decided a long time ago that going through life following someone else's plan wasn't really living at all.

[discardia]

... You're stronger than I am. Choosing your own path and fighting a fate you don't want--

That's amazing to me.

[alttitude]

... it's sweet of you to say, but it's just following my sense of what I find beautiful.

[One that he pursues with reckless abandon.]

I'm not the type to tell people that they should live like me - that goes against the entire point.... but I have faith in your ability to make your own choices, dear Cardia.

[discardia]

I'd rather die than kill another person.

[ promptly. ]

Even if... that means I won't be able to protect anyone else's partners.

[alttitude]

[ . . . . ]

Then that's your choice.

[Even if it's not the 'best' in the eyes of others. He shakes his head.]

You shouldn't be made to do anything that you don't want to. As long as you're able to be happy with your choices... then that's better than living a life that someone else wrote for you.

[discardia]

I'd like to end this game without everyone having to die for it.

But until then...

[ ... ]

I have to do what I can. Without compromising what I believe in.

[alttitude]

... that's the conclusion I've come to too.

[And he squeezes her hands then, doing his best to reassure her in the ways he can.]

I think you can do it. Whatever you choose, then you'll have my support, because I want your happiness more than anything else.

[discardia]

[ That... gets her to laugh, tiredly-- but it's still something. ]

You should at least try for your own happiness first!