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... I'm a rather arrogant person - or so I've been told.
[He's been told a lot of things.
He's been told that many people in this castle like him, that he's a good listener, that he's someone admirable, respectable - and he's not sure what to do with any of it. He's not familiar with people looking to him in a way that they want guidance.
But he'd failed here.
It stings.]
[He's been told a lot of things.
He's been told that many people in this castle like him, that he's a good listener, that he's someone admirable, respectable - and he's not sure what to do with any of it. He's not familiar with people looking to him in a way that they want guidance.
But he'd failed here.
It stings.]
... As if I could forget you of all people in a place like this.
[That's just muttered, though, and after a brief moment of contemplation--]
Well. Regardless, yes, you are right--there is no point in brooding over such things at a time like this.
[He lifts his head, meeting Jae-ha's eyes with surprisingly seriousness considering the subject matter (or maybe not, it's Sousei).]
This was not a bad reminder to receive. ["Thank you."]
[That's just muttered, though, and after a brief moment of contemplation--]
Well. Regardless, yes, you are right--there is no point in brooding over such things at a time like this.
[He lifts his head, meeting Jae-ha's eyes with surprisingly seriousness considering the subject matter (or maybe not, it's Sousei).]
This was not a bad reminder to receive. ["Thank you."]
[oh my god]
You did not listen to a word I said, did you?
[He doesn't want to think that Jae-ha knows him this...well... already...]
If he was here, he would have already been a disaster of some sort.
You did not listen to a word I said, did you?
[He doesn't want to think that Jae-ha knows him this...well... already...]
If he was here, he would have already been a disaster of some sort.
[... Oh. Sousei's quiet for a long moment, watching that happen, eyes widening a little despite himself. Naturally it's not perfectly similar, but it's very close, and...
It's endearing. The effort is endearing, and Sousei pauses for a moment, eyes fixed on the image Jae-ha's attempting to make... before he just clears his throat, and points at a few places in the shrine.
He'll describe them for Jae-ha more properly--so that instead of a generic shrine, it represents the Kumou shrine, because playing along with this and allowing Jae-ha to properly see the place Sousei's fondest of seems like the best way to acknowledge...
That he really does appreciate this more than he knows how to say.]
It's endearing. The effort is endearing, and Sousei pauses for a moment, eyes fixed on the image Jae-ha's attempting to make... before he just clears his throat, and points at a few places in the shrine.
He'll describe them for Jae-ha more properly--so that instead of a generic shrine, it represents the Kumou shrine, because playing along with this and allowing Jae-ha to properly see the place Sousei's fondest of seems like the best way to acknowledge...
That he really does appreciate this more than he knows how to say.]
Arrogant, and with a heart that is far too caring.
[That's his assessment of this entire situation; he meets Jae-ha's eyes firmly, arms crossed.]
Perhaps if the situation were different, he could have been saved. But a man who wishes to die in a game that is killing children...
[...]
Perhaps this truly was the kindest choice he thought he could have made, considering the circumstances. [Sousei doesn't think so; he thinks it was a dick move. But... Sousei still has hope.]
[That's his assessment of this entire situation; he meets Jae-ha's eyes firmly, arms crossed.]
Perhaps if the situation were different, he could have been saved. But a man who wishes to die in a game that is killing children...
[...]
Perhaps this truly was the kindest choice he thought he could have made, considering the circumstances. [Sousei doesn't think so; he thinks it was a dick move. But... Sousei still has hope.]
[ . . . hah. Jae-ha listens to the descriptions and focuses past the haze of tipsiness in order to refine the details based on what Sousei tells him. He adjusts the magic in order to create the illusion, and can't help but find it very fitting that of all things to find beautiful, Sousei would pick a town at peace.
Someplace that he loves - tranquil and warm.
As he finishes up the last details in the picture, he lets his gaze flick to watch Sousei's face rather than the illusion.]
... better?
Someplace that he loves - tranquil and warm.
As he finishes up the last details in the picture, he lets his gaze flick to watch Sousei's face rather than the illusion.]
... better?
... maybe it was.
[The math checks out. One death instead of two. His partner gets to live on and so does Natsuo. It only removes him.
Just him.
Jae-ha looks away.]
It feels childish - we know that this game is about killing, and losing people, and that's why it has to be stopped - but... for some reason it's impossible to forgive him for not wanting to live.
[For accepting a fate that was given to him, for never believing that he could be worth more, for... not even giving himself a chance.]
[The math checks out. One death instead of two. His partner gets to live on and so does Natsuo. It only removes him.
Just him.
Jae-ha looks away.]
It feels childish - we know that this game is about killing, and losing people, and that's why it has to be stopped - but... for some reason it's impossible to forgive him for not wanting to live.
[For accepting a fate that was given to him, for never believing that he could be worth more, for... not even giving himself a chance.]
[Don't...read too far into it??? Sousei's already moved on either way.]
As if I would do such a thing.
[Huffily!!]
I have been under pressure before.
As if I would do such a thing.
[Huffily!!]
I have been under pressure before.
[... He hopes he sees him again too.]
I am certain there are people we all need to see again. That is...the purpose behind trying to get as many people as possible back home safely.
I am certain there are people we all need to see again. That is...the purpose behind trying to get as many people as possible back home safely.
[Sousei inspects it quietly, and finds that...it's nostalgic. It's so, so nostalgic, which means that Jae-ha is right. For as fond of it as he is, Sousei hasn't actually spent that much time there.
But nonetheless, every detail...
He knows each detail, and this is...]
... It's acceptable.
[This is perfect.]
But nonetheless, every detail...
He knows each detail, and this is...]
... It's acceptable.
[This is perfect.]
... Because it is giving up.
[Sousei says that simply, shaking his head.]
Rather than fight on, rather than struggle to live, he gave up. He gave in to the hardships life had given him, and decided that simply ceasing to exist was easier.
... Taking the easy way out does not make him honorable, regardless of the math.
[Sousei says that simply, shaking his head.]
Rather than fight on, rather than struggle to live, he gave up. He gave in to the hardships life had given him, and decided that simply ceasing to exist was easier.
... Taking the easy way out does not make him honorable, regardless of the math.
[ . . . hah. Jae-ha just laughs quietly then. It's probably the faint tipsiness coupled with a whim that drives him to reach for one of Sousei's hands just so that he can press his lips to the back of it.
And then he'll yawn, letting go and letting himself relax with his head in Sousei's lap.]
Good.... just nudge me when it's my turn to keep watch, yeah? I'll sleep off the rest of the alcohol.
[And the illusion will linger for a bit longer - up until Jae-ha stops expending energy into it - but overall he thinks he can chalk this up to being a good night.]
And then he'll yawn, letting go and letting himself relax with his head in Sousei's lap.]
Good.... just nudge me when it's my turn to keep watch, yeah? I'll sleep off the rest of the alcohol.
[And the illusion will linger for a bit longer - up until Jae-ha stops expending energy into it - but overall he thinks he can chalk this up to being a good night.]
... but I can't think badly of him either. Even if I understand how other people might...
[He sighs and flicks his hair over his shoulder irritably. He moves, if only to give his energy somewhere to go, even if it just brings him to the window again, his gaze focused outside. It bothers him.]
If I tell him that what he did was wrong.... there's no need to tell him that even at the end, he could've done better.
[So instead he's left just venting.
Though he laughs faintly at the end, without much joy in it.]
I can't believe they're getting to me already.
[He sighs and flicks his hair over his shoulder irritably. He moves, if only to give his energy somewhere to go, even if it just brings him to the window again, his gaze focused outside. It bothers him.]
If I tell him that what he did was wrong.... there's no need to tell him that even at the end, he could've done better.
[So instead he's left just venting.
Though he laughs faintly at the end, without much joy in it.]
I can't believe they're getting to me already.
[Oh stop]
I'm not here to say I have been under the same pressure before, merely that I know how to work under pressure. You do not have to be deliberately obtuse.
I'm not here to say I have been under the same pressure before, merely that I know how to work under pressure. You do not have to be deliberately obtuse.
... You intend on telling them any of this?
[He's... he's kind of surprised.
Sousei is telling Kiiko and Tenka and the Yamainu jackshit of this.]
[He's... he's kind of surprised.
Sousei is telling Kiiko and Tenka and the Yamainu jackshit of this.]
Is that so strange to think of?
[That this of all things would bother Jae-ha, and finally get to him?]
When you and I both know that we both could have very easily been the same as him?
[If they hadn't been saved--if they hadn't escaped, if they hadn't been rescued...]
[That this of all things would bother Jae-ha, and finally get to him?]
When you and I both know that we both could have very easily been the same as him?
[If they hadn't been saved--if they hadn't escaped, if they hadn't been rescued...]
[ . . . The look he spares Sousei next is tired, a bit withering.]
Do you ever, not seriously and mostly temporarily, regret how much we've come to know about each other?
[Because unfortunately, Sousei managed to hit the nail on the head rather easily about what's really bothering Jae-ha, without him having to explain it.
It's comforting - it's nice to not have to speak the words out loud himself - just as much as it throws him off.]
... I don't like saying that my way of life is any better than others.
But I really think he could've found more, if he only tried.
Do you ever, not seriously and mostly temporarily, regret how much we've come to know about each other?
[Because unfortunately, Sousei managed to hit the nail on the head rather easily about what's really bothering Jae-ha, without him having to explain it.
It's comforting - it's nice to not have to speak the words out loud himself - just as much as it throws him off.]
... I don't like saying that my way of life is any better than others.
But I really think he could've found more, if he only tried.
[and jae-ha just laughs]
The point I was trying to make is that I think this is a pressure that no one has to be under - but since you're reliable, calm, and [attractive] assertive, people will look to you here.
But you shouldn't have to keep everything to yourself, whether it's how you feel about bleeding tapestries or otherwise.
The point I was trying to make is that I think this is a pressure that no one has to be under - but since you're reliable, calm, and [attractive] assertive, people will look to you here.
But you shouldn't have to keep everything to yourself, whether it's how you feel about bleeding tapestries or otherwise.
[Jae-ha used WITHERING LOOK.
It's ineffective against foe Sousei!]
You and I both are evidence that it is possible. He could have found more, if he had tried. He could have found better. But he saw no other options, and so he took what was available to him.
[A beat, and he sighs.]
For what it is worth, not a single person here should treat him as some sort of savior. He still put Natsuo through the experience of dying, whether he came back or not. He is pitiable, but not good.
[Sousei is not quite so forgiving.]
It's ineffective against foe Sousei!]
You and I both are evidence that it is possible. He could have found more, if he had tried. He could have found better. But he saw no other options, and so he took what was available to him.
[A beat, and he sighs.]
For what it is worth, not a single person here should treat him as some sort of savior. He still put Natsuo through the experience of dying, whether he came back or not. He is pitiable, but not good.
[Sousei is not quite so forgiving.]
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